Invite Lee to Speak at Your Next Event

You owe it to your audience to invite Lee to be a part of your next event!speaking

Across the country, Lee Rubin has impacted audiences from a variety of platforms. Whether it is a conference keynote address, a corporate training session, or a sports awards banquet, Lee is able to connect with his listeners and leave them with an unforgettable message.

Gifted with tremendous insight, Lee has been able to identify and extract the timeless principles of success and growth from his own experiences and communicate those truths in a way that everyone is able to understand. His ability to inspire, stimulate, and educate, is without a doubt the reason he is sought after by many.

For booking, contact Lee at (732) 685-3708, or via email at lrubin39@hotmail.com.

Read Lee’s bio.

Leaving the 99

It blows me away how people will overlook the 99 good things you do and will focus on the one thing that you didn’t do – or didn’t do the way they wanted you to do it.

Maybe people think they’re being Christ-like.

Jesus talks about the good shepherd’s tendency to leave a flock of 99 sheep to rescue one that goes astray.

The difference is Jesus’ behavior was UN-selfish where most people behave quite selfishly.  He was concerned about THEM, not HIMSELF.

The conclusion: you will never please people all the time!

Subscribe to Chatting with Lee

As part of my personal “Spring Cleaning”, I am trying to eliminate those tasks that are either unnecessary or fruitless.

Though I love sharing on the blog, and reading your comments, it can take a lot of time.

I will still be posting (probably less frequently), but I will no longer be sending email links to notify you of new postings.

However, if you wish to receive email notifications as the blog is updated, you can subscribe to the blog using the following link:

The instructions are posted, and they are pretty simple.   (Most of you will probably choose, Get Chatting With Lee delivered by email in the “Subscribe Now” box.)

Thanks,
Lee


Make Room for the New

I can’t say I learned a new lesson this weekend.  But I found myself in violation of a truth that caused enough pain to force me to make an adjustment.

(Unfortunately, most of us wait until there’s pain before we make necessary adjustments.)

Here’s what I was reminded of…you can’t have your hands in a million different things and do all of them well.  What ends up happening is that none of them get done well.  AND, more than likely, many of them get done poorly!

The challenge comes when you have to decide which ones you can leave alone.  In my case, I could find a good reason why I should keep all of them.  And I find ways to justify why I  continue giving that thing my time and/or attention.  Letting go of things (and people) you care about is not easy.

However, I can’t keep trying to hold on to people and things that don’t benefit me.

I’ve got to make room for the new things in my life!

Personal Enemy #1: DEBT

A friend of mine asked me to share his note on the blog, and I’m sure that your feedback/comments/advice will be helpful.

Lee I need your help. I am looking for some help with my personal financial situation, but I’m not quite sure where to go. Even though I earn a fairly high salary, I don’t seem to be getting anywhere because have so much debt.

Between school loans and credit card debt, I have close to $60,000 in debt, and its killing me. I feel like I’m working just to pay debt!

The real problem is that I don’t know who to turn to. My local bank just wants to give me another loan to consolidate all my debt. But that doesn’t solve my problem.  And even though I have a high salary, the investment companies don’t want to help me with my debt situation.  Also, I am not looking to claim bankruptcy.  So it’s been hard finding someone to help me put a plan together to eliminate my debt.

Can you put this on the blog to see what others think?

Climbing the Ladder of Love – Part 5

I apologize for not getting this out sooner.  I was out of town on a business trip last week, and didn’t have the opportunity to work on the blog.  I’ve attached the first four steps that Phyllis and Erasto provided a couple weeks ago to refresh your memories.

Step 1 on the ladder of love is to Know Thyself

Step 3 on the ladder of Love – Take the time to get to know each other in a way  that goes beyond just the physical attraction.
 
Step 4 on the ladder of Love – The Check-in

Step 5 on the ladder of Love – Intimacy and Commitment

This is the step when two people do the work as a couple to come together and share emotionally on a deeper level.  During this stage, they openly share with each other the life experiences that groomed them to be the people they have become.   In this process they learn who they are as a couple by connecting with their pasts, and that which has lead them to each other.

This sharing creates true intimacy which is needed to create true and lasting love.

Ultimately the key steps to a true and lasting loving relationship are…

- to do the work needed to reveal your true self to YOU

- use this awareness to begin getting to know someone on a very open and honest level being able to communicate your needs, wants and desires completely.

- this awareness also gives you the ability to select a mate who is a life partner.

The Goal here is to get the True Love and Commitment that will last forever and that you truly desire.

Thanks, CoCoa & Erasto

Climbing the Ladder of Love – Part 4

One more step on the ladder of love today…

Phyllis and Erasto help us climb a little higher in our understanding of how to build a successful relationship.  If you’re just joining us, you would be benefit from checking out the first 3 steps.

Step 1 on the ladder of love is to Know Thyself

Step 3 on the ladder of Love – Take the time to get to know each other in a way  that goes beyond just the physical attraction.
 
Step 4 on the ladder of Love – The Check-in

The “Check-in” entails having an open and honest conversation with the other person about how things are progressing between the two of you.  This conversation also includes a discussion about where you both would like to see the relationship go and if there are any issues that should be addressed before moving forward. 

A commitment can be made at this point, or the two individuals may decide to continue to get to know each other more before taking the next step.

If this is the case, another check in should be scheduled to continue the conversation.  If a commitment comes out of this step, then move on to step 5 (which we will discuss tomorrow).

If this is not the case, go back to step 3 only if the two people wish to continue to participate in continuing the process.

Climbing the Ladder of Love – Part 3

Phyllis and Erasto continue their advice column on the steps of building a successful relationship.  Don’t forget to check out the first two steps.

Step 1 on the ladder of love is to Know Thyself

Step 3 on the ladder of Love – Take the time to get to know each other in a way  that goes beyond just the physical attraction.

Get to know the person’s character, standards,values and morals by spending quality time communicating with them.  You also need to make the person a part of your life.

Bring them around friends and family to get a feel for how the person interacts with, and adapts to, being in your normal everyday life.  This gives you the opportunty to get to know the person through others by observing their actions and overall personality. 

Once again, it is important to be your authentic self in this step of the process.

Climbing the Ladder of Love – Part 2

For those just joining us today, Phyllis (Cocoa) Leath and Curtis (Erasto) Matthews, are helping us climb the ladder of love.  Today is the second piece of a 5 part series, and the theme is: The Steps to Building a Meaningful and Successful Relationship is like Climbing a Ladder.  

Step 1 on the ladder of love is to Know Thyself

Step 2 on the ladder of Love – Be Open and Honest – and most of all – Be Ready for a Relationship

When you are in this place, you will attract like people to you.  Once attraction is substantiated, both people should be in a healthy emotional state and have both done the self-introspective work necessary to take the relationship to a more intimate level.

At this point, they can bring to the table qualities, values and characteristics which would move the relationship in a postive and a mutually fufilling direction.

(Mind you, this is just our perspective based on our experiences.  We have found these are the steps that we deem important in our quest to find Real and Lasting Love.)

Lee’s note: I agree with this assessment.  It is hard to attract someone who is compatible with you if the “you” that folks see is not the real you!  Unfortunately, the dating process is such that what people see is typically more “presentation” than reality.  And I understand that it’s not easy to put the real you out there, because rejection is hard to deal with.  “What if nobody likes the real me?”

But, like Phyllis and Erasto said, real and lasting love can only occur between two real and honest people.

Climbing the Ladder of Love – Part 1

I asked a good friend of mine, Phyllis (Cocoa) Leath, to contribute to the blog.  In turn, she asked her friend, Curtis (Erasto) Matthews, to co-write the piece with her.
There are five parts to the series, and the theme is: The Steps to Building a Meaningful and Successful Relationship is like Climbing a Ladder.   Each day this week, we’ll be sharing another piece.  Enjoy and feel free to comment.
 
Erasto and I have just begun a journey, this journey in which we have reconnected after almost 30 years.  He and I went to high school together and found that we may be soul-mates.  We have both experienced life and have loved and learned, but the most profound thing that he and I share is the work we have done to make our lives more fulfilled. 

We have both found emotional health by learning to love ourselves to the fullest, and we are now sharing our hard work with one another.  We are experiencing a connection unlike any we have ever entered upon in our adult lives.  
 
Step 1 on the ladder of love is Know yourself:

In order to be one half of a truly healthy relationship, you must first know who you are separate and apart from another person.

What do you believe in? What do you stand for? What are your issues?

It’s very difficult to know what you want in a mate if you don’t know who you are. 

So, how do we get to know ourselves?

This is not an easy question because we spend most of our lives thinking we already know ourselves until we are met with one of life’s hard lessons, a difficult breakup, the death of a loved one or some other unexpected loss. It’s very often hard to know what we don’t know, until suddenly a door opens and we become aware of some part of ourselves we never knew.

A few good ways to begin opening these doors includes reading relationship books and attending emotional literacy seminars and workshops. There are a lot of people who have done this work already and they are often the first best resource for  people just beginning the journey of self exploration.

The true power in knowing yourself, is that by beginning to know yourself, you begin to know others.