She Brings Home the Bacon
May 13, 2008 — lrubin39CareerBuilder.com did an annual Mother’s Day survey and found the following:
43% of working moms are willing to take a pay cut if it allows them to spend more time with their children.
51% of moms who live in households with more than one income would leave their job if their family could live off of their spouse’s or significant other’s income.
The article went on to provide some tips on how to ease the pressure of being a working mom:
1. Incorporate telecommuting into your workday. Many companies allow their employees to work from home one or more days per week, which is an easy way for you to spend more time in the morning and afternoon with your children rather than in standstill traffic. Check with your human resources department and employee manual to see if telecommuting is an option. Of course, to telecommute you should be self-disciplined and able to get your work done even though the boss isn’t leaning over your shoulder.
2. Use one calendar for all appointments. If you have a conference scheduled for Monday morning, you’re not going to be late to work. If your daughter has a soccer game Wednesday night, will you have the same determination to be there on time? Putting all of your appointments – whether they involve the office or the family – on one calendar makes it easier to avoid schedule conflicts and missing personal appointments. You’ll also be able to notice if you’re spending more time on work than on family with a quick glance at the calendar.
3. Make your family a priority. Although your family is the most important thing in your life, you might forget to show it. Devote your weekends and any free weekday evenings to family activities. Even if you can’t plan a mid-week activity, make a quick phone call to your children to see how their school day went.
4. Take it easy. Work can become so hectic that you forget that you actually do like your job and the people around you. Leave some free time to relax and regroup between meetings so you don’t stay in a constant state of stress. You’ll be able to appreciate what you do and whom you work with. Also, keep evenings and weekends free of projects so you can rest and be completely recharged when you head back to the office.
5. Let others do their share. Make sure you’re letting the people around you take on some responsibility. You might be tempted to do everything yourself, but you’ll only stress yourself out. If you’re a manager, delegating responsibility will ease your workload and allow your staff to develop their skills.
Tell me what you think…
May 13, 2008 at 2:28 am
I’m not a mother, nor do I live in a two-income household. But watching many (not all) of my friends with children struggle with competing demands is enough for me to turn in my feminist card to Gloria Steinem and declare if you can swing it financially, and it’s what you really want, stay home or cut down on your work schedules. Not only do many working mothers feel guilty about leaving their children, many women who decide to stay at home feel almost ashamed about staying home. I actually have female friends who think stay-at-home moms are losers. Sad. We fought for choice. If I had a child and had the choice, I’d only work part-time and hopefully part of that part-time would be at home. To me, work is overrated (God bless those of you who LOVE your jobs) and if it weren’t for those pesky bills and needing to eat, I’d chuck it in a heart beat. :o) Seriously though, it’s a tough decision. While you strive to be a good mom, you don’t want to completely lose yourself in parenthood. Kudos to the moms (and dads) who are busting their tails to make it happen for their families. Happy belated Mother’s Day!
May 13, 2008 at 3:00 am
True, Cass — Kudos to the moms and dads busting their tails to make it happen. However, curses to the so-called “dads” that force their baby’s mommas to endure the challenges of labor while they continue to flake and find themselves “between jobs” all the time! Since they are acting like little boys I think they should all get their butts whooped!
May 13, 2008 at 7:47 am
i am a stay at home mom… i do work, but i work from home and i am also trying to finish up my degree online. the income i bring in is very minimal to say the least… it takes care of the groceries and some of our basic needs (shoes, clothes, stuff for the house ) and whatever is left is for us to play with (because that’s a priority- family fun). essentially we live off his income (barely making it) but it works for us. we get shut off notices on the regular, we don’t have luxurious clothes or fancy cars or extravegant household items… but we have decided as a family that it is more important to us for me to be home with the little ones. i had babies because i want to raise them, not the babysitter. once they get into school then i will get back into the workforce - probably as a teacher or something that will allow me to be home the same days/times as they are. my family is the #1 priority above everything on this earth. and for us, we choose to sacrifice certain luxuries for my children to have a parent with them at home.
i have never ostracized any woman who chooses to work (because i know some don’t have a choice) but to those who do… i respect their decision even though i disagree… how nice it would be if i were given the same respect… CASS you are so accurate in your assessment with how working women (generally speaking) view women who don’t work and most of them are pretty obvious with how they feel - talking to me like i’m a child, like i’m too dumb to understand what they are trying to tell me… it’s rather insulting and sometimes i feel that i have to prove myself to people, but i have learned to laugh it off most of the time and sometimes i do get psychological and through out some big words to let them know I AM NOT THE ONE!! don’t get it twisted girly!! LOL
May 13, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I say to each his own. I feel SO bad when I have to leave my child with a sitter (surrogate grandmother, family and Godmothers) for long periods of time…Because I am Doctoral student and soldier and of just sometimes in need of sometimes a mental health break - I have to lean on my village.
I am getting better at feeling better about leaving her. She’s surrounded with spiritual, loving and nuturing people. I cried a whole lot - (actually I still do) but she’s fine. I would feel a little better if my co-parent were more involved but he’s not. I won’t hold my breath on when he’ll get the message about parenting either. I used to feel challenged when people would question my judgement on time she spent being cared for by others but at the end of the day - I am doing the best I can in the situation I am in. Everyone’s situation is different. Having the experience in being judged, I would rather say that whatever a woman’s gotta do to take care of herself to take care of the home front - I say go for it! I am blessed with my village. I thrive at work, school and at play because of the support I have…and therefore, my daughter benefits.
May 28, 2008 at 10:55 pm
I would say that survey reeked of sexism and false expectations. While no person is truly independent, one shouldn’t want to be totally dependent either. Also, Malik needs to wake up: sure he gave props to the real mom and dads, then he went on a tandem about the so-called dads. There are so-called mothers too; and so-called parents as a whole. Why not avoid the sexism and gender-bias and cut both sexes evenly? That very attitude is maybe why most men throw in the towel. Just to prove a point, I am sure that everyone has seen a show where you have said: damn, I hope the baby isn’t his because she doesn’t deserve a man like him. Shame.