lrubin39
hpettifordMSN provides the impetus for today’s blog again. In the Ask Lynn Advice column, one wife mentions that her husband keeps gaining weight and she doesn’t know how to handle it. (check it out)
Between today’s entry and yesterday’s blog, She’s a Brick House, it’s clear that health and body image are key factors in relationships. 
I know a little bit about this subject. Let’s just say I’m not exactly in the same shape I was in while roaming the secondary, seeking whom I may devour. (yeah, that’s me in the photo)
And here’s what I’ve learned…Nobody can make you change your lifestyle (eating habits, exercise, and sleeping habits) until YOU are absolutely ready. At the same time, having a supportive partner who makes it known that your health is important to him/her is essential!
Are there any testimonials out there on the best way to handle things when a spouse, or significant other, is getting further out of shape and won’t make the necessary adjustments?
How do you handle that situation?
June 6, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Run For The Hills!!! I’m just playing. The best way to encourage a spouse who has gotten out of control with weight gain is to 1) encourage and 2) support.
Encouragement is one of the most important things you can do to help a spouse. Reminding them about how big they are or how they use to look is the wrong course of action. Tell them about the benefits of maintaining their ideal weight: better health, self esteem, better relationships with others, positive career success. The reality is (according to many studies: people who look better are more successful) I have seen that play out in my own life. Over the years as i’ve put on pounds, i’ve seen the difference in my own personal success. So encourage your spouse of a better lifestyle. Read book, listen to audio tapes and go to seminars that deal with health together.
Support is also very important for your spouse. IF you cook, create healthier meals. Start an exercise routine with your spouse. Surround yourself with people who are healthy or who are seeking a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes healthy habits and lifestyles are contagious.
The Success Twin: Encouragement & Support can help to produce phenomenal results in the life of your spouse.
June 6, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I dont know about big poppa, but my big momma wont slow down. she can eat a jar of pickle pig feet in one sitting. I just got to the point where I bribe her with buying her stuff when she loses weight. I just get worried that food makes her happier then stuff.
June 6, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Funny you should mention this… My husband and I have started taking physical fitness much more seriously lately. We are trying to implement a complete lifestyle change, but it is hard to break old habits and create new ones, so pray for us – please.
Consequently, I am currently taking a class on Motivation. There are many different things that motivate us: evolutionary history (culturally- what and when we eat/exercise and how much), personal history (our own ideas about fitness/eating), neurophysiological (lowered blood sugar – for example – causes someone to feel hungry) and psychological variables (depressed people tend to eat to feel better), and the environment (external incentives for performing a behavior).
That being said, you are absolutely correct in saying that we cannot MAKE someone change their eating habits or increase their fitness activity; it is completely up to that person to chooses what they are going to let motivate them towards whichever behavior… BUT we can offer more incentives!! For example, you cannot make your child VALUE an “A” on his/her report card over a “C”… BUT you can offer money (or some sort of incentive) to further motivate him/her to put in the extra effort.
Ultimately, we need to know our spouse well enough to know what WE CAN do to help motivate them!!
June 7, 2008 at 3:10 pm
All you can do is support and encourage.
The notion of forcing your spouse to do the right thing is absurd. And Lee you are right, your spouse has to be ready to change lifestyle habits when it comes to losing weight.
And on the real, you will KNOW when your spouse is SERIOUS and committed to losing weight and you will know when your spouse is having a “play-play” moment.
If your spouse simply refuses to exercise and change lifestyle habits to protect their own health and extend their time on Earth with you, ask them for permission to increase their life insurance coverages since you expect a payout sooner than expected. That’s a Madea move.
LOL!
June 12, 2008 at 8:58 am
I have often found my own physical fitness a terribly hard subject to discuss with my husband because he has been an athlete all his life, really. He is uh, “bigger” than he was when he was in high school and college as an athlete, but he still maintains a good deal of excercise. I, on the other hand, played sports but have never been known as athletic…in the last year, I’ve flimsied around exercise and healthy eating but in the last couple of months have really buckled down.
He has started to see that I am sticking with it and gives me great advice (always ICE after a run, it helps reduce swelling later is my favorite) and he’s even run a few miles with me (I think I may have shocked him).
Now if he could tell me what I REALLY look like in that dress, we’d be good!
LOL
July 1, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I need to answer this question cus I too have a spouse that refuses to exercise. I have asked if buying a gym membership would be of help, but that has met with such silence that I know from experience that silence, means no, I am absolutely not interested.
Recently he has started to exercise. Dont ask me the real reasons why, but he has.
We have both started to get up in the mornings, n just walk together.
I have to wait for two hours until he decides to get it together, but just the fact that he is “attempting to go” makes me happy.
Sometimes even though you might encourage and encourage, I think its just a matter of the time being right for big poppa..