How to Shower Like a Woman/Man

Thanks, Phyllis, for passing this along from Lynette. Beside the gender differences, I noticed a few cultural differences as well. Enjoy!

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned hamper according to lights and darks.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
• Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
• Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
• Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.
• Rinse off and turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
• Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to the bathroom.
• If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the “woo-woo” sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
• Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
• Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
• Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
• Admire wiener size in mirror again.
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
• If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the “woo-woo” sound again.
• Throw wet towel on bed.

Does this sound familiar?

Here We Go Again…GIFT BAGS!

I’ve taken great effort to avoid “recycling” blog entries.  There’s enough that happens in our lives that I don’t have to repeat topics over and over.

However…

I had a discussion this morning with co-workers about GIFT BAGS.  We’re having a little holiday party today which includes exchanging small gifts.  The conversation went from the challenges of wrapping presents to gift bags.

There’s a number of people who have joined the blog since we did that piece, so I think you’ll enjoy it.  And for those of you who remember the story, I’m sure you can use a good laugh.

So, without further ado, the Gift Bag story…

Mars, Venus, and a Gift Bag.

Men Changing Diapers

Alanna,

Thanks for sharing this…I needed it!

(click image to play video)