Gettin’ Better All the Time

I know a very pleasant gentleman from Jacksonville, Florida.  Whenever you ask him, “How are you doing?”, his response is ALWAYS, “Gettin’ Better All the Time!”

That line has stuck with me.  In fact, I frequently ask myself the question, “Am I getting better?”

Well, let me ask you…

• Are you doing anything to be a better wife today, a better husband today, a better friend today? 
• Have you read any new books to expand your mind today? 
• Have you taken any classes, seminars or online tutorials to enhance your skills today? 
• Did you practice your sport or rehearse on your instrument today? 
• Have you prayed, meditated or reflected to develop your spirit today?

We all have an opportunity, on a daily basis, to make ourselves better people.  Then we can honestly say that we’re getting better…all the time!

Enjoy the weekend!

Love, Joy and Peace

Hey all you miserable Christians…

I want to remind you of something: Love, Joy, and Peace are to be visibly evident in the lives of those who are genuinely Spirit-filled!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Gal. 5:22-23 KJV)

If you really are Spirit-filled, then your life should be one that demonstrates the fruit of that Spirit.  Nobody really cares how right you are, nor how well you abstain from “sinful” behavior.   And nobody wants to be around people who are overly critical, judgmental, and grouchy.

There are too many people concerned about presenting an image for other people that they haven’t fully engaged the true Spirit of God.  When that Spirit is engaged, it comes out in ways stated in the verse above.

Especially during this Christmas season…let the Love, Joy, and Peace shine through.

But it Feels Sooooo Good

We are a very sensual culture.  Everyone from advertisers to restaurants to pimps plays on this ultra-sensuality that is characteristic of our society.  We’ll fall for just about anything if we think it will make us feel better.

And you can see the evidence in our debt, our obesity, and unfortunately, in the number of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with pleasure.  In fact, I believe we were designed with the mechanisms to enjoy pleasure.

However, our desire for pleasure must always be kept in check.  Too often, we allow our desire for pleasure to do things that WE KNOW are not in our best interest.  In fact, in our efforts to feel good, we do things that are downright detrimental and harmful.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but pleasure usually comes with a high price.

On the Right Track

I’m on a mission!  I don’t just want to lose weight.  I want to be healthy.  And BEing healthy is a result of DOing healthy things.  Unfortunately, I have a number of unhealthy eating habits.  One such habit has been my tendency to eat big meals late at night.

Two weeks ago, I started the “After 7 Club“–a group of individuals committed to passing up those late night binges.  And honestly, I’ve been thrilled with the strength and discipline I’ve been able to demonstrate.  (I really believe a lot of it is a result of the accountability that comes from making a public commitment to something and having others join in on the effort.)

Well, something special happened on Saturday night.  I took my wife out on a dinner date to a Hibachi restaurant so there was another couple at our table.  Long story short…the gentleman seated near us, out of the nowhere, shared with us his testimony about how he lost 70 pounds.  His wife then began to tell us about how his snoring and sleep apnea impacted her sleeping, and consequently, their relationship.

He knew nothing about me, nor my efforts, before sharing that information.

I’m just amazed at the way God knows exactly when to send people and messages to let you know that you’re on the right track.

And here’s what I’m learning…those special “messengers” show up AFTER you’ve made a decision, and begun moving forward.

If I Should Die, Before I Wake

Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Do you remember that prayer as a child?

I need to take our discussion a little deeper today.

In just the last 2 days, I’ve heard the sad news of at least 3 individuals dying at very young ages–two of them in their sleep.  Early 40s.  Early 50s.  People with families…leaving children behind.  I realize that death is an inevitable part of life, but I don’t want it coming any sooner than it has to for me and mine. 

When I heard that one of the individuals that passed dealt with sleep apnea (learn more), my heart dropped!  Why?  Because that same morning, my wife got on my case about my poor sleeping. 

I work hard.  I do my best to provide for my family.  I’ll get up early and stay up late, if necessary.  And, I’m sad to say that I will often do this at the expense of my own health.  I’m sure I’m not the only one that refuses to get something checked out, or follow through with the procedure, or do the necessary exercises.  But here’s what I’m learning…

Failing to take care of your health is irresponsible!

Please engage in the necessary prevention, detection, and correction activities as it relates to your health.  You are going to die at some point, but don’t speed the process along by being irresponsible with your health.

Abstinence Doesn’t Guarantee Success

Yesterday’s comments on Halloween were very interesting.  One thought that jumped out at me was the idea of self-righteousness.  People abstain from certain activities (in this case, celebrating Halloween) as a means of, or a display of their righteousness.

See, I grew up in a culture that defined righteousness by the things you didn’t do.  We don’t smoke.  We don’t drink. We don’t listen to “worldly music”.  And the label for this behavior was HOLINESS—a label we were taught to wear with pride. 

And the unspoken expectation was that if I lived a “holy” life (of abstaining from worldly activities), then as a result, I would live a successful, productive, prosperous life.

Here’s what I’ve learned, though: abstinence may keep me from suffering the consequences of many things, but it doesn’t guarantee that I’ll ever accomplish anything!

In other words, if I don’t smoke, I significantly decrease my likelihood of getting lung cancer.  But not smoking doesn’t make me a better student, worker, citizen…or even a better Christian!

I’ve grown up watching a generation of Holiness folks live their lives taking pride in their abstinence, but never really living the successful lives they somehow expected would be an automatic result of their abstinence.

And to be honest…that hurts.

It Takes One to Know One

I’ve been blessed to have grown up in a loving, nuclear family.  In other words, mom and dad were present and involved in my life.  They taught me and disciplined me.  But more importantly—they were living examples to me.

I didn’t really notice, nor appreciate, the value of having my dad around until I went to college.  It was then that I was able to witness the impact of “fatherlessness” had on my friends and associates.

I know how difficult it is to be a good man these days.  And quite frankly, I am always amazed to see men who grew up without fathers in their lives, who mature into good men themselves.

How do men who grew up without fathers learn to be good husbands and fathers themselves?

Confession is Good for the Soul

Last week was interesting.  The posts and the responses revealed that our relationships are in dire need of some help.  Let me clarify that…people need help–and stronger people should help create stronger relationships.

I’ve noticed in the comments last week and throughout the conversations that were provoked by the blog that people feel better after they talk about things.  It appears that talking actually is therapeutic and initiates the healing process.

Part of our discomfort in certain situations is a direct result of holding things in.  Whether we are in denial, trying to hide stuff from others, or just trying to avoid the pain associated with an issue, holding things in does not help.  Find somebody to talk to!

Keep this in mind…confession doesn’t not mean YOU have done something wrong.  It’s simply stating the issues of your heart.  Let it out.  It’ll be good for your soul.

Enough is Enough!

I receieved some interesting comments on yesterday’s blog, Brokenhearted.  In particular, anonymous shared some thoughts and asked me to comment on them.  I’m no Dr. Phil, but I do have some insights I’d like to share.

 Anonymous stated,

I was trying to love with a broken heart. Betrayal after betrayal I tried the “what would Jesus do”, counseling, both spiritual and other wise and finally, one day, I had to say enough is enough. I stayed thru things most people would NEVER entertain for one second because I thought that was my place. I have learned that people only do what you let them. I was running around trying to make sure I was doing my part; making certain I wasn’t the problem and yet my counterpart was not seeking to accept any responsibility for his behavior. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because I was trying to love but couldn’t honestly heal because nothing was being worked on. I wanted Jesus and counseling to help us thru but take note only “I” wanted it. The issues don’t go away unless 2 people are working on them together!

1. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Sometimes we want help fixing situations that we never should have gotten ourselves into.  Not everyone is willing to make the sacrifices necessary to sustain a lasting relationship–they are just selfish.  Don’t marry those people!  You really do need two people working, not just on the relationship, but on themselves as well. 

2. Marriage should be the union of two whole (complete) individuals.  Yes, one person can complement the other in a marriage. That is healthy.  If one person is a spender, I pray the other is a saver.  If one person is abstract, then the other probably needs to be a bit more ‘concrete’.  However, both individuals should be able to stand on their own as independent single people.  When there is dependence (I CANNOT live without this person, or I NEED to be in a relationship to feel complete), the atmosphere is ripe for abuse.  A person must be comfortable and secure with their singleness in order to make an effective partner in marriage.

3. Healing cannot occur in the midst of continued abuse.  Sports injuries don’t heal if you keep playing on them.  You must get out of the game.  I was reading another blog about domestic violence, and the author stated, “thousands of pastors regularly dismiss domestic violence and send women back into dangerous situations. With “saving the marriage” as the highest aim, these pastors seek to prevent divorce at all costs. Women receive the subtle message that their pain – or even their lives — are not as important as keeping the marriage intact.” 

I believe in marriage.  I believe that any successful marriage requires a lot of sacrafice, and will cause a great deal of pain.  Love just hurts sometimes.  However, I do not believe, AT ALL, in abuse and/or neglect–mental, physical, sexual, or financial.  It is never anyone’s place to remain in an abusive relationship. 

At some point, enough is enough!

Brokenhearted

I taught a lesson yesterday about the brokenhearted, and I made the following statement:

Loving with a broken heart is like walking on a broken leg.

All of us have had our hearts broken at some point.  Whether it was an unexpected loss, abuse or neglect, or unmet expectations, our hearts were broken.  Unfortunately, we  don’t usually allow our hearts to properly mend.  As a result, our subsequent relationships suffer.  We are not able to freely love in the present because, like walking on a broken leg, we are handicapped from past hurts that haven’t healed.

Are you trying to love now with a heart that is still broken?