MSN provides the impetus for today’s blog again.  In the Ask Lynn Advice column, one wife mentions that her husband keeps gaining weight and she doesn’t know how to handle it.  (check it out)

Between today’s entry and yesterday’s blog, She’s a Brick House, it’s clear that health and body image are key factors in relationships. 

I know a little bit about this subject.  Let’s just say I’m not exactly in the same shape I was in while roaming the secondary, seeking whom I may devour.  (yeah, that’s me in the photo)

And here’s what I’ve learned…Nobody can make you change your lifestyle (eating habits, exercise, and sleeping habits) until YOU are absolutely ready.  At the same time, having a supportive partner who makes it known that your health is important to him/her is essential!

Are there any testimonials out there on the best way to handle things when a spouse, or significant other, is getting further out of shape and won’t make the necessary adjustments?

How do you handle that situation?

Do you love your woman’s body?

For those of you who have hotmail as an email service, one of today’s headlines was, “Why He Loves Your Body Even if You Don’t“.

It wasn’t much of an article, but rather a collection of quotes from men who loves the figures of the significant women in their lives. 

For Example:

The pleasure of plus
“My wife is plus-size — and it’s a plus in every aspect of the word — especially when it comes to spooning.”
– Anthony Abruccio, 39, Brooklyn, NY

Stay strong
“I like muscles! My girl’s arms are cut, toned and sexy—and I love when she wraps ’em around me.”
– Carl Steir, 31, Clifton, NJ

When thin isn’t in
“I used to date a dieter. She obsessed over everything she ate and was depressed every single time she looked in the mirror. My new girlfriend loves to eat and bake. She’s not thin or heavy. She’s healthy, and I’m happy!”
– Matt Magino, 29, Brick, NJ

Tell me what you think of your lady’s body…

Maybe it’s because presidential candidate Barach Obama is “mixed”, but I’ve seen a lot of stuff written lately on “multiracial” Americans.  For the last couple days, MSN has been doing a piece on Multiracial Americans.

The articles say that the number of multiracial individuals is growing at an incredible pace.  Due to the increase in interracial relationships, the offspring from these relationships is creating an emerging segment of the US population.

As it relates to multiracial individuals, what do you think the American “Melting Pot” will look like in 20 years?

I saw this article today on MSN.

Let me know what you think…

Here’s a look at 10 things women say that drive men nuts.

1) ”That looks cute.”
For the most part, men hate cute. We don’t want to hear about it, we don’t want to see it, and we sure as hell don’t want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there’s a 100 percent chance we’re changing. We’re supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.

2) ”We need to talk.”
These four words shut off a man’s brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.

3) ”It’s just a game.”
Actually, it’s not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it’s life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn’t make sense, but you should be happy that we’re that passionate about something. Telling us that “it’s just a game” is like us telling you that Oprah’s just a talk show host.

4) ”Nothing’s wrong.”
Please don’t tell us nothing’s wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We’re not mind readers; tell us what’s going on. And don’t make us guess because—believe me—you won’t like what we come up with.

5) ”I sound like my mom.”
The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don’t say it, even in jest—it’s not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying “every woman ends up looking like their mother” is an old wives’ tale. If we didn’t, no one would ever get married.

8) ”What are you wearing?”
We’re wearing whatever’s clean or whatever you tell us to. We don’t plan out our wardrobe days in advance, but we do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.

9) ”Do you think she’s pretty?”
Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn’t mean we think any less of you. We try to be as discreet as possible, but for the most part, we can’t help it. It’s in our DNA. When an attractive woman walks by, it’s best to just pretend nothing happened.

10) ”Which outfit do you like better?”
I’m going to be honest here—90 percent of the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They’re going to try to pick the one you like better and not get into a holy war when the babysitter is due any minute. To us, you always look good. Getting a couple cocktails and spending as much time as we can without the kids is our ultimate goal for a rare night out.

The Apostle Paul said, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

Well, what are the things that a man should put behind him?

I saw an article this morning that listed 18 things a grown man should never have.  Here they are:

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You’re smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you’re going to lose.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don’t let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her…along with breakfast in bed.

4. PlayStation thumb. When they’re relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you’re assuredly missing out on life.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don’t know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he’ll be.

7. An unstamped passport.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.

10. A name for his penis. Even if it’s a really clever name.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else’s lines reminds people that you haven’t the wit to write your own.

13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, “Take me on your futon.”

14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else’s office.

16. A secret handshake.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald’s Hamburglar ones.

18. A recent story with the phrase “So I said to the cop…”

Do you agree?

Thanks for sharing, Dwayne.

Morehouse is an institution that is recognized for its longstanding tradition of educating young Black men.  It is one of the nation’s premier HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities. 

However, a unique situation at Morehouse this year provides an opportunity for discussion.

For the first time in the school’s 141 year history…the valedictorian is White.  (see article)

Joshua Packwood, from the Kansas City area, is graduating from Morehouse with a 4.0 GPA in Economics.  According to the article, Packwood is familiar with being in the minority.  He was one of a few white students in his high school class.  Also, some of his siblings are “mixed” because his mother was married to a Black man.

Do you see any issues with White students attending predominant Black schools? 

CareerBuilder.com did an annual Mother’s Day survey and found the following:

43% of working moms are willing to take a pay cut if it allows them to spend more time with their children.

51% of moms who live in households with more than one income would leave their job if their family could live off of their spouse’s or significant other’s income.

The article went on to provide some tips on how to ease the pressure of being a working mom:

1. Incorporate telecommuting into your workday. Many companies allow their employees to work from home one or more days per week, which is an easy way for you to spend more time in the morning and afternoon with your children rather than in standstill traffic. Check with your human resources department and employee manual to see if telecommuting is an option. Of course, to telecommute you should be self-disciplined and able to get your work done even though the boss isn’t leaning over your shoulder.

2. Use one calendar for all appointments. If you have a conference scheduled for Monday morning, you’re not going to be late to work. If your daughter has a soccer game Wednesday night, will you have the same determination to be there on time? Putting all of your appointments – whether they involve the office or the family – on one calendar makes it easier to avoid schedule conflicts and missing personal appointments. You’ll also be able to notice if you’re spending more time on work than on family with a quick glance at the calendar.

3. Make your family a priority. Although your family is the most important thing in your life, you might forget to show it. Devote your weekends and any free weekday evenings to family activities. Even if you can’t plan a mid-week activity, make a quick phone call to your children to see how their school day went.

4.  Take it easy. Work can become so hectic that you forget that you actually do like your job and the people around you. Leave some free time to relax and regroup between meetings so you don’t stay in a constant state of stress. You’ll be able to appreciate what you do and whom you work with. Also, keep evenings and weekends free of projects so you can rest and be completely recharged when you head back to the office.

5. Let others do their share. Make sure you’re letting the people around you take on some responsibility. You might be tempted to do everything yourself, but you’ll only stress yourself out. If you’re a manager, delegating responsibility will ease your workload and allow your staff to develop their skills.

Tell me what you think…

I saw this article today and thought I’d share it on the blog.  (Here’s the original article.)  These are 8 things that men do that annoy their significant others…

ANNOYANCE #1

You don’t pick up after yourself at our place.

Actually, we really don’t mind if you’re a little messy. An empty beer bottle here or dirty T-shirt there–no problem. But when we start seeing pieces of you (literally) all over the place, we tend to go off. Like when we find your hairs all over our bar of Dove, or toenail clippings on the nightstand, or a pile of chewed-out sunflower-seed shells on the counter. Please clean that up before we see it and want to gag. And then we’ll promise to be better about leaving globs of our hair in your shower drain. Do we have a deal?

ANNOYANCE #2

You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs…

…yet conveniently don’t mention your sportsbook.com account or the $200 you lost on the NCAA parlay. Until we’re sharing a bank account with you, we’re not all that interested in your opinions on how we should or should not spend our money. And if we are sharing a bank account, here’s something you should know: Reminding us when we’re in the throes of post-retail bliss that we just blew all our disposable income for the month is not going to endear you to us. The perfect boyfriend response: “Wow, [fierce/sexy/hot] new [haircut/handbag/lingerie item]. I guess dinner is on me tonight!” Then wait a few days to bring up your financial concerns, by proposing we both start saving for something we want to buy together.

ANNOYANCE #3

You talk to us as if we’re one of the guys.

If you have any romantic inclinations toward us, please don’t call us by our last name. Otherwise we’ll assume we’ve already been relegated to buddy status and start thinking of you that way, too. Also, you’ll rarely find us holding entire conversations in  Simpsons and Old School quotes. Similarly, we don’t talk in numbers the same way men tend to. We’re happy to see evidence of your improvements at the gym, but we really don’t need to know how much you can bench-press. We also couldn’t care less about your day rate, the price of your car, or the number of beers you once shotgunned in college. And fantasy-league anything will make us flirt hard with the waiter. No, the conversation doesn’t have to be all about us, but we do want you to shoot for topics of mutual interest.

ANNOYANCE #4

You speak of the future vaguely.

Men seem to have perfected a special way of talking about the future that makes it unclear whether we’re a part of it or not. Or maybe you don’t know you’re doing this? For instance, you frequently mention your buddy’s wedding in another state 6 months from now and you haven’t asked us to go with you. Or you have a month long international business trip coming up but haven’t asked us whether we’d like to come for a weekend visit. If you picture us in your future, try talking about these things in such a way that we’ll stick around for it.

ANNOYANCE #5

You stop trying.

You have us as your wife or girlfriend. We’re committed to the situation, and all is good. But pretty soon you stop trying to impress us–and we don’t like that. “Now that we’re married, he never tries to ‘win me’ anymore,” says one friend. “If he wants to come on to me, he needs to ditch his gross dress socks and gym clothes and make an effort. Otherwise he ain’t getting any. Also, there is less foreplay and it’s more routine, which I hate. After 7 years, a man’s got to bust some new moves.” Or at least bring back a few of the retired ones that used to work. Like simply bringing home a pizza, a bottle of wine, and some flowers when we’ve had a bad day. Bring back the woo. We want the woo!

ANNOYANCE #6

You blatantly look at porn.

We don’t care that you masturbate, and we can’t change the fact that you might occasionally browse the fine and varied selection of naked ladies on the Internet. But if you’re looking at porn on a computer we also use, kindly delete your history. We don’t want amazonbabes.com to pop up every time we want to do some shopping or, worse, when your mother’s over and an underwearless young starlet showing her bald spot appears as we’re showing Mom something online.

ANNOYANCE #7

You turn down sex.

When it so happens that we’re the one who wants sex and you’re the one who doesn’t, we find your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure us that we’re attractive and that you love us, but that you just aren’t in the mood. It helps to throw out a hint at what’s going on–that you’re tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a Boston-area psychologist. That way we won’t obsess or be too pouty or aggressive. If we happen to be fresh off a girls’ night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you’re refusing, tread extra carefully. Horny can change to emotional, crying wreckage very quickly when your girl has a couple of glasses of Prosecco in her.

ANNOYANCE #8

You ask us out via text.

Texting is fast and easy and leads to sexy banter–but save it until after the first date. Calling a woman to ask her out is much more personal. It takes more effort (and balls), which is exactly what we find so sexy about your doing it. Okay, it’s an unfair burden for you, but it comes with an advantage: It makes you stand out from the mass of other men who text instead of calling. “So many people are conditioned to communicate through text messages that to receive a phone call or even an e-mail feels like a generously romantic gesture,” says Kristina Grish, author of The Joy of Text: Mating, Dating, and Techno-Relating. Another thing: Don’t include us in any mass texts you bang off to half the female names in your address book at 10 p.m., expecting one of us to come rushing out to meet you for the night. “Women know when your ‘plans 2nite?’ texts are generic, and when they’re intended to specifically address them,” Grish says. “You have so few characters to make a succinct point, but tuck an inside joke or reference into the message to make it personal, sexy, and fun.”

A cyclone unleashed winds, floods and high tidal waves on the citizens of a densely populated region in Myanmar (in Asia).  The result, so far, is roughly 22,000 confirmed deaths, and more than 41,000 others missing.  (See  Article)

Here’s a note I just got from a friend of mine after he read an article about the devastation…

I’m blown away at the devastation, what if anything can we do as Christians?   What type of relief or agencies should we be aligning ourselves to? 

I’m just throwing these questions out to you, I know what should be done, but do we really take the necessary steps to see that it happens? Peace,

Now, I know that all of our readers aren’t Christians.  I don’t think we have to be.  The question, and challenge, still remain…What can we do as FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS to extend a helping hand to those in need?

Let’s come together and do something!

As it relates to thinking, there seem to be two general categories of people: thinkers and non-thinkers.

Some people are constantly thinking.  It seems their minds are running a mile a minute.  They are planning, choosing, and reminiscing about anything and everything.  Then, there are the non-thinkers, those that come across as if  their minds only work if you put a token in it.  When you look at them or try to talk to them, you’re met with this cold, emply stare.

I fall into the first group.  I am constantly thinking–about anything and everything.  One of my goals is to do a better job of giving my mind a break.  Thinking too much (doing ANYTHING too much) is not good for you!

Here’s what I’m curious to find out…what do you spend most of your “thinking time” thinking about?

In other words, what occupies your thoughts most?  Are you thinking about current circumstances, memories of the past, future visions?  Are thinking about victory or defeat?  Problems or fantasies?  Friends, family or enemies? 

I once heard that, though we are physically limited by time and space, our minds are completely free to go wherever they desire to go.

Once again, what’s on your mind?