Big Poppa Keeps Getting Bigger

MSN provides the impetus for today’s blog again.  In the Ask Lynn Advice column, one wife mentions that her husband keeps gaining weight and she doesn’t know how to handle it.  (check it out)

Between today’s entry and yesterday’s blog, She’s a Brick House, it’s clear that health and body image are key factors in relationships. 

I know a little bit about this subject.  Let’s just say I’m not exactly in the same shape I was in while roaming the secondary, seeking whom I may devour.  (yeah, that’s me in the photo)

And here’s what I’ve learned…Nobody can make you change your lifestyle (eating habits, exercise, and sleeping habits) until YOU are absolutely ready.  At the same time, having a supportive partner who makes it known that your health is important to him/her is essential!

Are there any testimonials out there on the best way to handle things when a spouse, or significant other, is getting further out of shape and won’t make the necessary adjustments?

How do you handle that situation?

She’s a Brick House

Do you love your woman’s body?

For those of you who have hotmail as an email service, one of today’s headlines was, “Why He Loves Your Body Even if You Don’t“.

It wasn’t much of an article, but rather a collection of quotes from men who loves the figures of the significant women in their lives. 

For Example:

The pleasure of plus
“My wife is plus-size — and it’s a plus in every aspect of the word — especially when it comes to spooning.”
– Anthony Abruccio, 39, Brooklyn, NY

Stay strong
“I like muscles! My girl’s arms are cut, toned and sexy—and I love when she wraps ’em around me.”
– Carl Steir, 31, Clifton, NJ

When thin isn’t in
“I used to date a dieter. She obsessed over everything she ate and was depressed every single time she looked in the mirror. My new girlfriend loves to eat and bake. She’s not thin or heavy. She’s healthy, and I’m happy!”
– Matt Magino, 29, Brick, NJ

Tell me what you think of your lady’s body…

Keeping HER Crazy in Love

Alright, let’s get this straight.  I didn’t write the article, What keeps a Man Crazy in Love?.  I just brought it to your attention with the blog entitled, All Men Want the Same Thing.  However, the comments clearly reflected a sentiment that women do enough already.  And at this point, the ladies felt that the men should be stepping up their game to keep them crazy in love.

In other words, if the love has diminished, it is because the men are slacking!  They said that husbands still expect them to work all day (whether at home or in the workforce), take care of the kids, keep the house clean, pay the bills, and THEN prepare and serve them dinner in a thong!

I was even asked to find an article that enumerated the 12 things a MAN should do to keep his woman crazy in love.  It sounds like we’ve got a bad case of virtual finger-pointing here that needs to be addressed.

The point of the last blog was not to engage in the “blame game”, nor was it to “throw the sistahs under the bus”. 

My intent was to communicate that men are generally very simple creatures, and that it really is not hard to figure out what makes them happy.

Now, back to the request to come up with 12 things a man should do to keep his woman crazy in love…

How about we write that one ourselves?  Any ideas?

 

All Men Want the Same Thing

For all the women out there trying to keep a happy home, (and for all you women out there that have no clue), maybe this article will help.

What Keeps A Man Crazy in Love?

The article lists 12 things that a woman should do to keep her man crazy in love:

Play Poker, Give the Perfect Backrub, Tie His Tie for him, Make a Mean Steak for him, Wake him up in the Morning, Give him a Barbershop Shave, Strip, Have a conversation with his boss, Throw him a surprise party, Leave him a sexy voicemail at work, Quote at least three lines from The Godfather, Make heart-melting chocolate-chip cookies, and Kick his style up a notch.

I find it interesting that, although no two men are alike, there are some general ground-rules regarding what most men are looking for from their wives.  Despite cultural or ethnic differences, socio-economic variations, and even various age groups, most of things on the list seem to resonate with men across the board.

Are men that homogenous?  Are we that simple to figure out?

What do you think?

 

Love = Risk

Yesterday, Cass said, “I’d rather avoid the likelihood of hurt than to experience the possibility of joy.“  That is the choice that many people make.

Likelihoods and possibilities.  The bottom line is that love comes down to taking a risk.

However, the risk is not whether or not we’ll be hurt by the people we let in–because pain in a relationship is INEVITABLE.  Even the most loving companion is not perfect, and will do something hurtful at some point in the relationship. 

Rather, the real risk is letting someone in that does not have the ability to properly care for your heart.  Not everyone that loves you is able to handle the responsibility of caring for your heart.

Maybe this analogy will help:  Even if my 5 year-old child loves me–worships the ground I walk on–it doesn’t mean that the child is equipped to properly care for my precious diamond collection.  Even if they understand the value, they may not have developed the skills yet!  The fact that they love me has nothing to do with their ability to care for my stuff properly.

I’m learning that just because a person can take good care of themself, doesn’t mean they have the necessary skills to properly care for my heart, if given access.  Maybe that’s what AG meant yesterday when he suggested that we check a person’s “Character FICO score” before granting access to your heart.

Sure.  Be certain that the people you let in are competent and caring enough to treat your heart properly.  But don’t go through life avoiding all likelihoods of pain.  It may feel safe, but it’ll be very lonely.

Walls that Keep Love Out

Thanks for the comments on yesterday’s blog.  Emotional health (wholeness) is a very interesting subject to me.

I am amazed at how emotionally unhealthy most of us are. 

Shawna commented yesterday that, unlike children, “adults have all these walls and issues that keep (others) from getting in.“ 

Well, the walls didn’t grow by themselves.  They were strategically built to protect the heart of the builder from getting hurt again.  When a heart is broken, the walls go up.  When the walls go up, people can’t get in.  Soon, you’ve got a very lonely individual!

Call me crazy, but I believe it is our nature to love.  I believe that we were born with a natural inclination to be concerned about other people. 

It is after being hurt and deceived that we start making arguments for the futility of love.  It is after getting dogged out that we convince ourselves that we don’t need anybody, and that we can be fine all by ourselves.

For those who feel that the love you extend to others is rarely, if ever, reciprocated, I suggest you look to see if you’ve built any walls around your heart. 

It may be YOUR FAULT that the love is not getting in.

The Gift of Love

Today is Valentine’s Day! 

And already I’ve been asked, “Do you have any ideas on what I can give my girl for Valentine’s Day?”

Needless to say, the fact that you are just now asking the question is a problem.  But the other problem, thanks in part to Hallmark, is that the obligation seems to fall men to do something, while there’s is little or no obligation on the women to give their men something!  (But that’s a subject for another blog.)

Here’s what I’d like to know…What is the best gift that you’ve ever received (or given) for Valentine’s Day? 

Maybe our discussion will provoke some ideas for our last-minute lovers!

Love One Another

I hope you voted this morning.  If not, make sure you do at some point today.

And then tomorrow, I’d like you to continue with your civic duty: I want you to love your neighbor as yourself.

Voting, in my opinion, is a valuable exercise.  It is a opportunity for you, and the rest of your fellow citizens, to have your interests expressed in government.  Essentially, you are making your selection as to who you would like to best represent your interests in political decision-making.  And hopefully, the individual that is elected, properly represents you.

I believe we have a higher calling, though.  I believe we have the civic responsibility to treat our fellow citizens with concern, compassion, and fairness.  We are too quick to point fingers at our politicians, when our own “policies” are not always fair nor just.

For example, we “send aid” to those that we want to, and not always to the ones that need it most.  We provide “tax relief” to our inner circle, not to those struggling financially.  We often “declare war” with motives that self-serving, not for the protection and well-being of a defenseless people.

Don’t just vote.  Live a life–everyday–that includes concern and love for the least of these. 

What do you think?

Make Time Stand Still

I was reading an article about gifts that would really make a loved one happy.  The article strongly discouraged giving those impersonal gift cards.  If you really want to have an impact, give a meaningful, thoughtful gift.

Of the ideas shared in the article, there was one category of ideas that I found very interesting.  The heading for the ideas was, Make Time Stand Still.  The article stated,

People are always talking about how little time they have, how much time they waste and how badly they wish they had just one extra hour each day. So take the hint and give those you love the most precious gift of all: free time that they can spend on themselves.

Here are some of the specific ideas:

• Give your spouse a week without chores, so he or she can spend time doing more rewarding things.
• Give the new parents in your life a day or a night off while you handle the diapers and burp cloths.
• Offer to help a friend with a project, or retype her résumé or reprogram his new laptop — whatever will produce a windfall of time.

Let me ask you, if someone could give you a gift that made time stand still, what would you want?

The Way You Make Me Feel

For the last two days, the blog has addressed issues related to violence.  As I thought this morning about sticking with that them, I heard about the shooting in Las Vegas.  Six high school students were shot getting off their school bus.  They believe the shooting was in retaliation of a fight that occurred earlier that day at school over a girl.

To be perfectly honest, I’m sick of hearing, and talking, about violence.  And since I’m a lover, and not a fighter….let’s use these recent incidents to talk about love.

I’ve noticed that most of the people that commit these crimes are individuals that don’t feel loved.  They are the “outcasts” of society, the “loners”, the ones that don’t fit in.  And here’s what I’ve learned about love,

Love is less about how you feel about another person.  It is more about how a person makes you feel ABOUT YOURSELF.

Think about it.  You could be with the greatest person in the world.  But if they treated you like dirt, you probably wouldn’t feel loved.  And I believe the opposite is true.  You could be with some that the world considers a loser, but that person can treat you right and make you feel like the most loved person on earth!

Spread a little love today.  Make somebody you love feel special!