Big Poppa Keeps Getting Bigger

MSN provides the impetus for today’s blog again.  In the Ask Lynn Advice column, one wife mentions that her husband keeps gaining weight and she doesn’t know how to handle it.  (check it out)

Between today’s entry and yesterday’s blog, She’s a Brick House, it’s clear that health and body image are key factors in relationships. 

I know a little bit about this subject.  Let’s just say I’m not exactly in the same shape I was in while roaming the secondary, seeking whom I may devour.  (yeah, that’s me in the photo)

And here’s what I’ve learned…Nobody can make you change your lifestyle (eating habits, exercise, and sleeping habits) until YOU are absolutely ready.  At the same time, having a supportive partner who makes it known that your health is important to him/her is essential!

Are there any testimonials out there on the best way to handle things when a spouse, or significant other, is getting further out of shape and won’t make the necessary adjustments?

How do you handle that situation?

8 Things She Hates About You

I saw this article today and thought I’d share it on the blog.  (Here’s the original article.)  These are 8 things that men do that annoy their significant others…

ANNOYANCE #1

You don’t pick up after yourself at our place.

Actually, we really don’t mind if you’re a little messy. An empty beer bottle here or dirty T-shirt there–no problem. But when we start seeing pieces of you (literally) all over the place, we tend to go off. Like when we find your hairs all over our bar of Dove, or toenail clippings on the nightstand, or a pile of chewed-out sunflower-seed shells on the counter. Please clean that up before we see it and want to gag. And then we’ll promise to be better about leaving globs of our hair in your shower drain. Do we have a deal?

ANNOYANCE #2

You ask how much our new haircut or handbag costs…

…yet conveniently don’t mention your sportsbook.com account or the $200 you lost on the NCAA parlay. Until we’re sharing a bank account with you, we’re not all that interested in your opinions on how we should or should not spend our money. And if we are sharing a bank account, here’s something you should know: Reminding us when we’re in the throes of post-retail bliss that we just blew all our disposable income for the month is not going to endear you to us. The perfect boyfriend response: “Wow, [fierce/sexy/hot] new [haircut/handbag/lingerie item]. I guess dinner is on me tonight!” Then wait a few days to bring up your financial concerns, by proposing we both start saving for something we want to buy together.

ANNOYANCE #3

You talk to us as if we’re one of the guys.

If you have any romantic inclinations toward us, please don’t call us by our last name. Otherwise we’ll assume we’ve already been relegated to buddy status and start thinking of you that way, too. Also, you’ll rarely find us holding entire conversations in  Simpsons and Old School quotes. Similarly, we don’t talk in numbers the same way men tend to. We’re happy to see evidence of your improvements at the gym, but we really don’t need to know how much you can bench-press. We also couldn’t care less about your day rate, the price of your car, or the number of beers you once shotgunned in college. And fantasy-league anything will make us flirt hard with the waiter. No, the conversation doesn’t have to be all about us, but we do want you to shoot for topics of mutual interest.

ANNOYANCE #4

You speak of the future vaguely.

Men seem to have perfected a special way of talking about the future that makes it unclear whether we’re a part of it or not. Or maybe you don’t know you’re doing this? For instance, you frequently mention your buddy’s wedding in another state 6 months from now and you haven’t asked us to go with you. Or you have a month long international business trip coming up but haven’t asked us whether we’d like to come for a weekend visit. If you picture us in your future, try talking about these things in such a way that we’ll stick around for it.

ANNOYANCE #5

You stop trying.

You have us as your wife or girlfriend. We’re committed to the situation, and all is good. But pretty soon you stop trying to impress us–and we don’t like that. “Now that we’re married, he never tries to ‘win me’ anymore,” says one friend. “If he wants to come on to me, he needs to ditch his gross dress socks and gym clothes and make an effort. Otherwise he ain’t getting any. Also, there is less foreplay and it’s more routine, which I hate. After 7 years, a man’s got to bust some new moves.” Or at least bring back a few of the retired ones that used to work. Like simply bringing home a pizza, a bottle of wine, and some flowers when we’ve had a bad day. Bring back the woo. We want the woo!

ANNOYANCE #6

You blatantly look at porn.

We don’t care that you masturbate, and we can’t change the fact that you might occasionally browse the fine and varied selection of naked ladies on the Internet. But if you’re looking at porn on a computer we also use, kindly delete your history. We don’t want amazonbabes.com to pop up every time we want to do some shopping or, worse, when your mother’s over and an underwearless young starlet showing her bald spot appears as we’re showing Mom something online.

ANNOYANCE #7

You turn down sex.

When it so happens that we’re the one who wants sex and you’re the one who doesn’t, we find your refusal to be confusing and irritating. Reassure us that we’re attractive and that you love us, but that you just aren’t in the mood. It helps to throw out a hint at what’s going on–that you’re tired, depressed, anxious at work, whatever, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a Boston-area psychologist. That way we won’t obsess or be too pouty or aggressive. If we happen to be fresh off a girls’ night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you’re refusing, tread extra carefully. Horny can change to emotional, crying wreckage very quickly when your girl has a couple of glasses of Prosecco in her.

ANNOYANCE #8

You ask us out via text.

Texting is fast and easy and leads to sexy banter–but save it until after the first date. Calling a woman to ask her out is much more personal. It takes more effort (and balls), which is exactly what we find so sexy about your doing it. Okay, it’s an unfair burden for you, but it comes with an advantage: It makes you stand out from the mass of other men who text instead of calling. “So many people are conditioned to communicate through text messages that to receive a phone call or even an e-mail feels like a generously romantic gesture,” says Kristina Grish, author of The Joy of Text: Mating, Dating, and Techno-Relating. Another thing: Don’t include us in any mass texts you bang off to half the female names in your address book at 10 p.m., expecting one of us to come rushing out to meet you for the night. “Women know when your ‘plans 2nite?’ texts are generic, and when they’re intended to specifically address them,” Grish says. “You have so few characters to make a succinct point, but tuck an inside joke or reference into the message to make it personal, sexy, and fun.”

Financial Infidelity

I saw this article today and thought it was worth sharing…

One lawyer says that she sees more cases of financial infidelity–when one spouse overspends family money without the other’s knowledge–than sexual infidelity! (Please see article!)

Whether its a hobby, a compulsion, or even an addiction, there are more and more couples suffering from a breach of trust that occurs due to a loved one’s secret spending.

One study revealed that one third (1000) of nearly 3000 couples admitted hiding at least one purchase from their spouse.

Tell me what you think!

 

The Husband’s Bill of Rights

You knew it was coming.  After hearing the Wife’s Bill of Rights, it is only fair to discuss the other side.  Again, let me know what you think.

(written by Craig Playstead)

Preamble:

We, the husbands of America, do not claim to be perfect. We’re far from it. While we love being married to the wives of America, we have a few things that we’d like to straighten out. We’re not asking for the world here. We understand that things like following our college football team to every away game is out of the question, as are after-dinner cigars. However; there are a few minor things that we’d like to clear up to make our marriage a happy one.

Amendment I

We have the right to go out with our friends at least once a month.
A man’s relationship with his buddies is a bond that should never be broken. It helps keep us feeling young, connected and sane. It also helps us break the routine just like nights with the girls do for you. Even as we reach middle age, we like the fact that we still have a “crew.”

Amendment II

We reserve the right to dislike your friend’s husbands.
We promise to give the guy a fair shot, but when he starts acting like a moron, we can no longer authorize events with that family. And yes, wives have the same freedom to blackball when the tables are turned. It doesn’t mean we like your friend any less, it just means that in her haste to have a big, fancy wedding, she chose a jackass that we don’t want to spend our rare time off with. Listening to stories about how “wicked” he was on the French horn in his bitchin’ ‘80s band is just too much.

Amendment III

We have the right to have a few things of ours in the house.
Everything we hold near and dear to us shouldn’t all be in the garage. While we understand that our framed KISS concert poster might not make it on the living room wall, at least throw us a bone. The scene in “Juno” where Jason Bateman realized that everything he held near and dear was in a 200-square-foot room was a gut-shot to us all.

Amendment IV

We have the right not to be scolded by you.
We are your husbands, not your children. We don’t mean to track dirt onto the carpet or get chips on the couch, but it’s not like we just got a lap dance. Don’t treat us like your children and we’ll do our best not to act like them.

Amendment V

We have the right to teach our sons how to burp and fart.
Sharing bodily functions with our offspring is as much about life as it is about jokes. It’s also something that can help brings kids and dads together. Believe me, kids and guys always laugh at farts—that’s how we’re wired. And we’re not talking about being totally gross and inappropriate. We vow to teach them that there is a time and a place for behavior like this—and that the early service at Church is not one of them.

Amendment VI

We have the right to teach our children how to defend themselves.
Fighting is barbaric, terrible, and scary. But it’s also part of growing up. We want our kids to be able to get out of a bad situation, not be bullied, and be able to take care of themselves. One of the plus sides of learning how to take care of yourself is that the more you know, the less you have to use it. Teaching our offspring how to defend themselves in a scary world is one of the basic duties of a father.

Amendment VII

We have the right to as much reading material in the bathroom as we need.
Sometimes we’re in there a while, we can’t help it. And no, we’re not hiding … most of the time.

Amendment VIII

We have the right to watch the big game.
We care too much about our teams. We know it’s not rational, but it’s who we are. No one can explain the love men have for their teams, but you may as well embrace it because that love will not die. If you don’t believe this, just remember the Boston Red Sox had the most loyal fans in sports and didn’t win a World Series for 86 years.

Amendment IX

We have the right to the remote when we’re on the couch.
This is something that’s in our DNA. We know it, and you know it. If there’s any doubt, watch us surf at top speed while knowing if a show is worth watching after stopping on it for .2 seconds. It’s a thing of beauty.

Amendment X

We have the right to still use chivalry.
Yes … we know women are strong and independent, and we dig that. But allow us to open the door for you, or give up a seat and act like a gentleman once in a while. The world will be a better place because of it.

All Men Want the Same Thing

For all the women out there trying to keep a happy home, (and for all you women out there that have no clue), maybe this article will help.

What Keeps A Man Crazy in Love?

The article lists 12 things that a woman should do to keep her man crazy in love:

Play Poker, Give the Perfect Backrub, Tie His Tie for him, Make a Mean Steak for him, Wake him up in the Morning, Give him a Barbershop Shave, Strip, Have a conversation with his boss, Throw him a surprise party, Leave him a sexy voicemail at work, Quote at least three lines from The Godfather, Make heart-melting chocolate-chip cookies, and Kick his style up a notch.

I find it interesting that, although no two men are alike, there are some general ground-rules regarding what most men are looking for from their wives.  Despite cultural or ethnic differences, socio-economic variations, and even various age groups, most of things on the list seem to resonate with men across the board.

Are men that homogenous?  Are we that simple to figure out?

What do you think?

 

Too Weak to Handle a Strong Woman

Let’s just get right to it…Men are intimidated by strong, successful women.

There.  I said it! 

I read an article recently that started this way, “The majority of my most successful, good-looking, educated, talented girlfriends are still single.” (click here to read article)

Is it that men don’t want to deal with the challenges of a woman who works long hours, possibly makes more money than him, and doesn’t require him to make decisions for her?

Or, are “successful” women too bossy, demanding, and selfish to make good mates?

Let me know what you think.

The Gift of Love

Today is Valentine’s Day! 

And already I’ve been asked, “Do you have any ideas on what I can give my girl for Valentine’s Day?”

Needless to say, the fact that you are just now asking the question is a problem.  But the other problem, thanks in part to Hallmark, is that the obligation seems to fall men to do something, while there’s is little or no obligation on the women to give their men something!  (But that’s a subject for another blog.)

Here’s what I’d like to know…What is the best gift that you’ve ever received (or given) for Valentine’s Day? 

Maybe our discussion will provoke some ideas for our last-minute lovers!

Why Men Don’t Talk

Here we go…our favorite topic…love and relationships!

Someone shared an article with me today entitled, Why Men Don’t Talk.

Ladies, how often are you frustrated at your mate’s silence when it comes to any meaningful discussion about his feelings?  “Before we got married, we talked on the phone all night.  Now, I can barely get 3 words out of him.  Maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.”

Men, how crazy do you get when your mate perceives your silence as a lack of love and concern?  “If you loved me, you would open up to me.  You don’t seem to have any problem talking to your boys!”

As always, I honestly believe that a lot of the issues facing relationships today are rooted in a lack of understanding.  More often than not, that lack of understanding is the result of mis-communication.

And I’m still learning that men and women really do have significantly different communication styles.

Check out the article and let me know what you think.

The Way You Make Me Feel

For the last two days, the blog has addressed issues related to violence.  As I thought this morning about sticking with that them, I heard about the shooting in Las Vegas.  Six high school students were shot getting off their school bus.  They believe the shooting was in retaliation of a fight that occurred earlier that day at school over a girl.

To be perfectly honest, I’m sick of hearing, and talking, about violence.  And since I’m a lover, and not a fighter….let’s use these recent incidents to talk about love.

I’ve noticed that most of the people that commit these crimes are individuals that don’t feel loved.  They are the “outcasts” of society, the “loners”, the ones that don’t fit in.  And here’s what I’ve learned about love,

Love is less about how you feel about another person.  It is more about how a person makes you feel ABOUT YOURSELF.

Think about it.  You could be with the greatest person in the world.  But if they treated you like dirt, you probably wouldn’t feel loved.  And I believe the opposite is true.  You could be with some that the world considers a loser, but that person can treat you right and make you feel like the most loved person on earth!

Spread a little love today.  Make somebody you love feel special!

Men Changing Diapers

Alanna,

Thanks for sharing this…I needed it!

(click image to play video)