What Does My Vote Mean?

I’ve been watching the Presidential debates, as well as some of the polls and the commentary from the media.  I’ve even been reading the comments on this blog (which have been quite interesting).  And I continue to be amazed at how polarizing elections tend to be.

Once we’ve identified a candidate that we plan to support, he becomes “our guy”, and the opposing candidate becomes the enemy.  In fact, we may even assign a “divine anointing” or “antichrist-ness” to our respective candidates.

From my perspective, this is not only dangerous – but also silly.  There is no 1candidate on the planet that I will agree with 100%.  (Most married couples can’t even agree on 50% of the issues in their relationship!)  It is just impossible. 

So, with my vote, I am not saying that I agree with all of your past policies and future proposals.  I am not saying that you are perfect and will be the greatest leader of all time.  Rather, I am saying that I believe that you are the best overall candidate (of those we have to choose from) for this day and time.

I reserve the right to disagree with you.  I reserve the right to challenge you.  And believe it or not, I reserve the right to think that your opponent may actually be right on some of the issues!

My vote simply means that I think you are the best of my current options. 

Small Gesture…Huge Impact

Do you realize that it is sometimes the smallest acts of kindness, or the simplest displays of thoughtfulness that make a world of difference in a relationship?

The other day, one of my female co-workers was just smiling and glowing, almost floating around the office.  It was clear that she was on “Cloud 9″.  You would have thought she just won a million dollars!

When I asked her to disclose the reason for her bliss, she said that her husband walked around the mall with her the night before for nearly two hours — without complaining!  Seriously, you would have thought by her behavior that he bought her a diamond ring. 

It doesn’t really cost a lot to show someone that you are sensitive to what they need and desire.  You don’t always have to spend a ton of money on expensive gifts, elaborate vacations, and fancy meals.  Often, it’s the small, thoughtful gesture that communicates most effectively that you care.  And when you boil it all down, people just want to be, and FEEL, loved!

Why Keep Making Babies?

A femle friend of mine asked me a simple question today…

If a man clearly is not happy in a relationship, why does he keep making babies with the woman?

Unfortunately, we probably all know at least one couple whose relationship is rockier than the mountains.  Yet, every year, they seem to be having another kid to add to the collection.

I think the reason behind this has to do with the motivations of the two parties involved. 

Men will take what they can get.  Regardless of the uncertainty of the relationship, if she will still sleep with him, he’ll take it!  I don’t think he’s really thinking about the possibility of fathering another child…he’s just enjoying himself while he can.

Women, on the other hand, may use sex to try to keep him in the relationship.  If she thinks that the good lovin’ will keep him there (until they work out the other issues), then she will put herself at risk to having another child.  I would hate to think (and I know it happens) that a woman would get pregnant on purpose in order to keep connected to a man.  In my opinion, using a child to keep a man, is about as irresponsible as it gets!

What do you think?  Why do “couples” that can barely stand each other keep having babies together?

Not Tonight, Honey

In response to yesterday’s very interesting blog, B left the following comment…

“it’s something about saying “I Do” that puts shopping over sex…All the married men out there know exactly what I am talking about…”

I don’t mean to put words in his mouth, but there’s an implication there that suggests that the response might be different if the question is asked BEFORE the couple gets married.  In other words, sex is better–in quality AND quantity–before the marriage.

If that is true (and I’d be interested to hear if you agree), why do you think that is the case?

Let me make myself clear: I believe that sex is to occur among individuals married to each other.  My intent here is to have a meaningful “dialogue” that confronts an issue among married couples that is rarely properly addressed.

Essentially the question is, Do you believe that the sexual relationship tends to get worse, and not better, over the course of the marriage?  And if so, why?